


A Collection Of Moments

by Julziebee



Category: The Pacific (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Sad Ending, but this is basically leading up to snaf leaving sledge on the train, i don't know how to tag! oh boy!, more or less, uh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-04-07 10:01:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19082758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Julziebee/pseuds/Julziebee
Summary: “Oh, you know. I just wanna bug you.” He joked. “That’s what you think, right? You’re thinkin’ all I wanna do is bug you till you scream bloody murder.”or, four times sledge lets go of snafu, and the one time snafu returns the favour





	A Collection Of Moments

       Merriell “Snafu” Shelton sat on his cot, topless. He was holding a shard of glass, almost perfectly square and very sharp, in his hands. Around him, marines were busy with orders, making sure that this or that was in order, making sure that this company had enough ammo and that these other fuckers over here had enough chow and water. He paid little attention to them. He didn’t know them. He didn’t care. He looked in his little mirror and looked at his face. He looked just fine, or as fine as you could be in the middle of a war. Though his eyes...they looked yellow. Marines all around the camp were getting sick, awful sick, and though he put up an I-don’t-give-a-shit facade, he did get scared sometimes, though he’d never admit it. Snafu didn’t want to die, especially from disease while in a war camp. Terrible way to go. He risked a glance over at Eugene Sledge, who was sleeping, maybe resting, a cot or two away from him. He was facing the ceiling.

       “Are my eyes yellow?” Snafu asked, monotone and expressionless. Sledge rolled his eyes, though he wasn’t sure if Snafu saw it. 

       “Why would your eyes be yellow.” He questioned back, though it sounded like more of a statement than anything. He was still staring at the ceiling, so Snafu didn’t look away. Eugene had captured his thoughts for a long while now, so it was always difficult to look away. He was also topless. Snafu looked back in his mirror.

       “C’mon. Your old man’s a doctor. Look at my eyes.” He said, looking back at Eugene and holding his hands out at his sides. Eugene turned to face him.

       “Give it a rest, Snafu.” He replied, clearly annoyed, as he sat up. Snafu watched him do so.

       “Seriously,” He retaliated, leaning back a bit in his cot. “I’m getting that yellow jaundice that’s been going ‘round, I know it. The heebie-jeebies.” He said, a small smile on his face as Sledge got up from his cot and crossed the tent, in front of Snafu’s bed to grab some tools. Snafu’s dog tags felt good against his stomach.

       “It’s Hepatitis, and you  _ don’t have it _ .” Sledge insisted, still grabbing tools. Snafu watched him do so. He was shirtless, and it wasn’t like he hadn’t seen Sledge shirtless before, but for some reason, Snafu was feeling different. A warm, hot feeling that pooled in his stomach. Not much of it, though, just enough for a puddle. Those dog tags helped ground him. Snafu looked to the side.

       “I’ll catch a fever, then turn inside out through my asshole like Carson in Love company.” He half-joked, referring to a less fortunate marine in another company on the island. The damn island. He looked up at Sledge, who’d just finished gathering supplies. He glanced at Snafu and then re-focused his attention on the supplies. Snafu got up and walked over to Eugene.

       “C’mon,” he said, gently touching Eugene’s bicep and turning him around to face him. “Look at my eyes.” He said, almost ordered. Up close, Snafu decided that Sledge was a bit more than reasonably attractive, not that they hadn’t been close before. His eyes were a sweet, honey brown and complimented his auburn hair very well, though no one would ever know that he noticed that about him. Sledge and Snafu held intense eye contact for no more than a second, but hell, if Snafu didn’t at least enjoy their proximity to one another then it was all for nothing because he swore he saw something in, or maybe behind, Sledge’s eyes. It was deep and dark, red. Snafu didn’t dislike it, not one bit.

       Sledge, on the other hand, was trying to convey how upset Snafu made him. The other man managed to find every single way to get under his skin and bug him, and he knew it was all in good intention--or at least he hoped it was--but, hell, if it didn’t get on his nerves. Though, right then, he couldn’t be annoyed. Sledge had never had feelings other than friendship for other men, but there was something about Snafu, and  _ dear God _ , his eyes, it was those eyes that Sledge couldn’t shake or sleep off. Snafu dropped his hand from Sledge’s arm, who immediately wished his fingers were still there.

       “I’m dyin’, Sledge.” Snafu said, and Sledge saw how broken he was. Snafu put up a pretty secure guard around all the other marines, but he seemed to unfold a little around Sledge. Sledge didn’t know why or particularly mind. And while Snafu’s expression didn’t really change, his voice certainly did. It was softer, with another meaning, maybe two, behind it. He could hear the pain laced throughout the syllables and shot through his heart. Sledge felt something warm in his gut.

       Snafu swore he saw Eugene’s eyes cast a quick glance at his lips and then immediately back to his eyes.

       “Hey,” came a voice from next to them. It was Jay De L’eau.

       “Hey,” Snafu replied. “Check out my eyes, Jay,” he said, walking away from Sledge and focusing his attention on Jay. It was only then that Sledge had realized how close they’d been. Very close. He retreated farther away from Snafu. “Do they look yellow?” He asked. Before Jay could answer, they were called. Sledge couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened if Jay didn’t interrupt, or what he would have said. Endless questions for another time. 

 

~

 

       They were once again sitting in the tent. Snafu was shirtless. Sledge was wearing a thin, green t-shirt that everyone had. Snafu was looking at himself in his little mirror again, and Sledge was reading. Snafu couldn’t see exactly what it was, he couldn’t read too too well. Whatever it was, Sledge was absolutely engrossed in it, and for a moment, everything was alright. They’d just returned from a battle. It’s been a couple days, maybe closer to a week at this point, but they were okay, and Snafu wasn’t sick. He scoffed at the thought. Eugene looked up from his book.

       “What’s so funny.” He asked, more stated. He was quiet, though. There was a guy between them, and he was sleeping. They didn’t get that too often, sleep, so neither Sledge nor Snafu wanted to wake him. Snafu snorted again.

       “I’m just thinkin’” He dodged, a cigarette between his lips. Sledge watched him like a hawk, then turned back to his reading.

       “Hilarious.” He said, smirking to himself and rolling over. A smile crept onto Snafu’s face as he reached up to take the cigarette out of his mouth and blow out some smoke. He placed it back between his lips and smiled, leaning back, lying down.

       “You think I’m dead? Dyin’?” He asked teasingly, crossing his hands behind his head. There were no lamps in the tent. It was late. They both should have been asleep. 

       “I never did. You just proved me right.” It was almost so late that it was early. At this point, neither was going to end up sleeping, but Sledge figured it was better to have Snafu’s company than no company at all. 

       “Oh, c’mon. I know how little you think of me.” Snafu replied, almost sneering, but it was still a smile. He blew out some smoke. Sledge audibly sighed. He was easily annoyed with Snafu, though he could never stay annoyed for too long. 

       “I don’t think little of you. I used to, shit n’ ass…” He trailed off, taking a slip of paper and slipping it between the pages of the book he was currently reading. He got up and walked over to their little hanging shelf and slid the book into its place. Snafu smirked wildly.

       “Speakin’ of ass…” He drawled out, a little louder than he intended to. Sledge stiffened, and Snafu noticed, but if you’d blinked you wouldn’t have. His shoulders hunched forwards and his fingers curled ever so slightly. Sledge was exhausted, and irritable, and had enough Snafu for one night. He swiftly turned around and had to remind himself that he was angry and about to scold Snafu; the latter was sprawled out on the cot, more relaxed and devilish than Sledge had seen for a while, though he looked so inviting. Subconsciously, Snafu spread his legs apart just a little more, and that was it for Sledge. He didn’t really know why he was so angry, really, Snafu hadn’t exactly done anything except rile him up. However, Sledge felt a warm feeling pooling in his gut again; hot and very present.

       “Sometimes I wish I didn’t have to know you.” Sledge said bitterly, though he really, truly did not mean it. Something flashed through Snafu’s eyes, but Sledge didn’t dwell on it. He frowned, eyebrows furrowed, and turned around again. “I’m going to take a piss.” He said coldly and walked out of the tent. It was hard not to yell at Snafu. It was hard to not do a lot of things to Snafu. Snafu just smiled and watched Sledge go.

       “Have fun,” He called out after him, and felt a very pleasant feeling in his chest as Eugene flipped him the bird.

 

~

 

       Sledge was sitting on the beach. They had been given the evening off, thank the lord, and he was getting ready to watch the sunset. He was sitting there topless, enjoying the warmth of the sun. It would have been paradise on that island if it wasn’t for the countless bodies and the constant smell of urine and B.O. There was no one else on the beach, which was strange because this was one of the few opportunities they had to clean themselves off, and most liked to in the ocean. He figured they already had, and he was just too slow.

       The sun was setting, and even in the situation he was in, it was beautiful. Pinks and oranges mingled like old friends and the blue behind them was gentle and soft, like a warm baby blanket. Little specks of purple and yellow sprinkled the surrounding sky, and the sun in the middle of it all was like a big, beacon of fire. It reminded him of the Japanese flag. He made a ‘tch’ noise and threw a rock into the waves, which were gently lapping at the shore. He heard crunching from behind him and turned to see no other than Snafu Shelton. He walked over and stood behind Sledge.

       “That’s a nice sunset.” He commented, folding his arms across his chest and tilting his head to the side. A cigarette was between his lips. He was peacefully puffing out smoke. Sledge closed his eyes and sighed.

       “What do you want, Snafu?” He asked, this time like a question. Snafu waved a hand around.

       “Oh, you know. I just wanna bug you.” He joked. “That’s what you think, right? You’re thinkin’ all I wanna do is bug you till you scream bloody murder.” He said, a sly smile on his lips, but his eyes said something different. Sledge brought his knees up and rested the insides of his elbows on them, then let his hands fall lose and cross between his legs.

       “Well, either sit down or leave me alone.” He said, monotone. He hoped Snafu would sit down, but also hoped he would leave. Snafu sat. He sat with one knee up and the other folded at his side. He put both his hands on his one knee and rested his chin on them. 

       Sledge couldn’t help but think of the night before when Snafu made that inappropriate comment about his body. It made him feel something warm and sticky, and he knew what it was. He used to get the same feeling around Mary Houston. But he knew it was dangerous, and he didn’t quite understand it yet. The whole situation frightened him. Snafu cast a glance over at him.

       “Jesus, Sledge,” he commented, reaching into his pocket for his pack of cigarettes to offer him one, but found it not there. He took the cigarette out of his mouth and, with his other hand, opened Sledge’s mouth and placed the cigarette between his lips. “You look like hell. What’s on your mind?” He asked, breathing out smoke and watching as Eugene just stared at the cigarette between his lips. The warm feeling was returning. His lips were dry, and he could feel where Snafu’s lips had been prior. But he didn’t dwell on it, nor did he answer Snafu, who was still staring at him intently.

       “It’s nothin’ you need to worry about.” He settled with, not meeting Snafu’s gaze. He kept watching the waves, rolling onto the beach like dice. The salty ocean was all too familiar and just as bitter. Snafu scoffed. 

       “Aye-aye,” He replied, half-heartedly, and laid down on the sand. His voice was deep and sounded like someone had covered his vocal cords in lard. It was alluring. 

       Eugene sighed and stood up. He couldn’t go and wash with Snafu watching, and that was before he’d felt attracted to him. Snafu would stare and stare, then wouldn’t look away, and then denied he ever looked in the first place. Snafu got on his nerves as no one else had before, but he would be lying if he said he didn’t like the attention. He sighed, let out a small chuckle and stood. He walked away from the beach scene, and though the sun hadn’t fully set, he couldn’t stay and sit there. As soon as Sledge turned the corner to go back to the tent, Snafu dropped his glance downwards and cursed himself. He’d finally got Sledge’s attention, his positive attention, and he’d wanted to say something, anything, that would give him some idea of what he was feeling. However, he wasn’t so sure himself. He sighed, and drug a hand across his face. There was no way a conservative Alabama boy would feel something for him, he was lucky with friendship. 

       “You son of a bitch,” He said, maybe to himself, looking up at the sky. It would have been nice if four planes didn’t fly above him, noisily reminding him that he was in a war zone, no place for fruits or romance in general. 

 

~

 

       Soldiers--no, they were Marines--paraded around the camp. The Japanese had surrendered. They’d won the war. The war was over. They were going home. It was almost hard to believe, after being at war for months, years if you were lucky. Everyone was drinking and laughing and so very happy. Who wouldn’t be? None of them, at that moment, had a care in the world. 

       Sledge, Snafu, and Romus "Burgie" Burgin had been sitting on a rock that resided on a hill that overlooked the camp. They had been drinking, sharing a bottle of god-knows-what, until the other marine left to go join the party. Sledge was surprised that Snafu didn't join him. Whenever they had off and a chance to hit the town, Snafu always went off in search of a warm body to spend the night next to. So when Burgie explained he was going to talk with the other marines and offered to take them with him, Snafu’s answer was surprising. 

       “Nah, Burgie. Go have your fun. I’ll stay here with Sledge and the stars,” He laughed, flicking at his cigarette. Snafu wasn’t one for poetry so it was strange that he said that. It was also strange that he gave Sledge a window to disagree if he wanted to. Eugene just held his pipe and nodded.

       “Don’t wait up for us, Burgie.” He said smiling. Burgie smiled back. He was a sweet kid. Pretty, too.

       “Alr-If you say so,” He replied, smiling at them and making his way off the rock and down the little hill towards his peers. Snafu and Sledge watched him go. Sledge huffed on his pipe and blew smoke circles into the night sky. Snafu looked down at him and stood up. He slid off his rock and sat next to him, though not too close. 

       “Hey,” He greeted, pulling his knees close to his chest and folding his arms over them. Sledge smiled at him, a rare occurrence. 

       “Hey yourself.” He replied with the pipe still between his lips. It took a lot for Snafu to not follow the movement of his hands and lips. Then, Sledge looked down and furrowed his brows. Though he would never admit it, a pang of worry shot through Snafu’s heart at the sight but he didn’t let it show. “Why didn’t you join Burgie?” He asked, looking up to meet Snafu’s eyes. For the entirety of the time they’d spent together in battle and all the time in between, Snafu’s eyes always seemed to lure Sledge into a calm, safe state of peace. They were beautifully blue and green and pearly and gleaming with mischief and curiosity. Come to think of it, Snafu was so effortlessly  _ pretty _ that Sledge sometimes wished he was a broad that Snafu would hit on. The corner’s of his eyes wrinkled and a smile found its way onto Snafu’s face.

       “I wanted to spend my time with you, Sledgehammer.” He said, not breaking eye contact. A soft gasp escaped Eugene’s mouth and the smile turned into a smirk. Snafu sighed, glancing over at the other marines. They were pouring beer all over one another, smiling and cheering, drunkenly singing. They were shooting into the air, and if they shot fireworks or bullets, it didn’t matter because they were happy and they were making noise. They were making themselves noticed. They were idiots. Sledge coughed into the back of his fist, then drug his hand across his mouth and placed his pipe back between his lips. Snafu watched his movements closely.

       “Hey, Snafu?” Sledge asked quietly. Snafu didn’t reply. “Can you be honest with me? No jokes, no fuckin’ teasing, just...I need you to be honest.” He said, focusing on the ground. Snafu nodded.

       “Sure thing.” He replied, sticking out his legs and crossing them. He knew this was coming. He folded his hands behind his head and leaned on the rock. Sledge wasn’t smoking his pipe anymore, he was using it as a fidget. Then, he discarded it, placing it on the ground next to him. He faltered, thinking of just abandoning the question, but then thought more about it. What did he have to lose? They’d all be shipped out and he probably wouldn’t see Snafu for a long time, if not ever again. He looked up, but not at Snafu. 

       “Have you ever...God, I don’t know why I’m asking you of all people, but--have you ever felt...” He trailed off, hoping that Snafu could understand what he was trying to say, the confession dead on his tongue. Snafu was facing him now, and as he asked the question his eyebrows shot up. 

       Never in a million years had he expected Sledge to give him this hint, this first push, first move, if you could even call it that. He always thought that one night he’d just reach over and kiss Sledge and deal with the consequences, not  _ this. _ Snafu usually always had a plan B, but this time he had been completely off guard. It must have shown in his features because as soon as Sledge glanced at him, he shut down.

       “For-Forget I said anything…” He hid himself, looking away from Snafu and towards the marines below them celebrating. When Snafu didn’t respond for a second time, Sledge began to stand up. He looked close to crying, and made Snafu feel guilt. As he was standing up, Snafu grabbed Sledge’s wrist to keep him from leaving. He only realized he’d started crying when Eugene whipped around to face him, tears streaming down  _ his  _ face, and immediately softened. He crouched down next to Snafu and manoeuvred his hand out of Snafu’s grip and repositioned to hold his hand and wipe a tear that had fallen from his eyes. Snafu didn’t look like he was crying, no, but his eyes were wide and his pupils were dilated and he held onto Sledge like he was the only thing grounding him. Sledge scooted closer to him and cupped his cheek, rubbing it with his thumb. Snafu brought his other hand up to meet Sledge’s and they locked eyes. 

       “God, help me,” whispered Sledge. He crashed his lips into Snafu’s, who immediately made a little noise and kissed back. He felt Sledge let go of his hand and cup the other side of his face. Snafu moved his other hand to Sledge’s waist, then broke the kiss to breathe. They were both panting, and Snafu slid his hand along Eugene’s arm and to the base of his neck and pulled their foreheads together. He chuckled, out of breath.

       “‘S that answer your question?” He asked, smirking wildly. Sledge laughed softly, and then it grew louder, and soon both were laughing and holding each other as if they’d never get the chance to again. They were laughing and in a state of relief and bliss. Neither man knew how much the other wanted this. Sledge was just holding Snafu’s face in his hands, laughing and smiling, feeling so loved. Snafu reached up and curled his fingers around Sledge’s wrist, only one, and brought it away from his face. He then proceeded to lace his fingers with Sledge’s, who was watching him do so. 

       “Sledgehammer,” Snafu said carefully, gently. He rubbed his thumb against the side of Sledge’s hand. Sledge smiled at their intertwined hands. Snafu breathed deeply. “Eugene,” he called. Sledge’s head shot up. His name sounded foreign on Snafu’s lips. 

       “Yes?” He replied softly. The air around them was warm, but fragile. If someone said the wrong thing or made the wrong move the atmosphere and the stars would crash down to the Earth. 

       “Is it okay if I-? Eugene?” Sledge held his gaze. “I...I don’t know what this is. This--I’ve never really considered myself a fruit, get that, but there’s something about  _ you _ that I just--and I never thought, ever; this boy from Alabama, there’s no way he would…” Snafu trailed off, also looking at their hands. He laughed, then met Eugene’s eyes. 

       “Who would have thought?” Laughed Eugene through a watery smile. Snafu laughed too, and kissed his forehead.

       “I only wish it could stay like this,” He commented, his lips ghosting over Sledge’s forehead. Sledge frowned slightly.

       “Yeah,” He replied. He let go of Snafu’s hands.

 

~

 

       “New Orleans, Crescent City!” Boomed a voice over the loudspeaker. “Home to the Delta Blues and the French Quarter. Watch your wallets, pocket your watches, this is New Orleans!” Snafu reached over and grabbed is canvas bag on the rack above the passengers. He threw the strap over his shoulder and turned around to his and Eugene’s seat. Burgie had left a while ago, in Texas. Jewette, Texas. It’d been just the two of them for a couple hours, and both had been dreading this stop. Throughout the few hours they had to themselves, there was so much they wanted to say but couldn’t. It hurt. So when Snafu turned around, bag on his back, to see Eugene asleep? It would have warmed his heart , if he had one, and if it wasn’t the last time he’d ever see him. Eugene was sleeping with his arms crossed and was laying on his bag, which was up against the window. Snafu felt like it was a scene in one of those romantic movies they’d watched back at the camp...on the islands. 

       It took a lot for Snafu not to cry, and Snafu never cried. There were so many things he wanted to say to Eugene, tell him just how much he adored him, but he couldn’t. He wanted to touch him and kiss him and love him but he  _ couldn _ ’ _ t _ . He couldn’t even ask for a kiss on the forehead goodbye. It hurt. 

       So he didn’t say anything. He took a step back from the seat. He looked down at Eugene and wanted to cry. But he didn’t, he turned and walked through the aisle, then paused. Was he really going to leave him? Without saying goodbye? He kept walking. Yes. That’s all he could do. 

       He hopped off the train and walked onwards towards the station, and didn’t look back. 

  
  


_ ~ _

  
  


_        I’m dying, Sledge _ .

       No matter how hard he tried, those words would not leave his mind. They refused to leave.

       Eugene came to the conclusion that Snafu was right. He was dying. He was dying from the war in his head, he was dying from the smoke in his lungs, and he was dying from the longing in his heart. 

**Author's Note:**

> hello!! this is my first fic i'm posting so i hope you liked it!! that's all i've got to say lmao


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